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Cantor Fitzgerald
Equities trader
Where Died
World Trade Center

In the 10 years since Swede Joseph Chevalier died at 26, life has moved forward for his younger sisters.

Tylia is 30 now and "has a significant other and a job," says their mother, Elaine Chevalier of Middletown.

Brittany, 25 now, has a job and is going to graduate school, says Chevalier, a commercial real estate owner and manager.
They miss their brother, with whom they were very close, but both are doing well.

Grief, though, is different for a parent.

"I feel like sometimes, I see others moving on, but I feel as though I'm stuck because I miss him and love him so much," she says. "I was very, very close to him.

"Initially, it was difficult to look at photographs of him. It's too painful for a mother, I think," she says.

Today, she can look at photographs of Swede.

But "every day, every minute, I still miss him," she says. "I talk about him all the time.

"When people ask me how many children I have, I always tell them I have three, and one has passed away. I don't want to be morose. I think it makes some people uncomfortable.
"But I have three children."

She had a Mass said on June 3, which would have been Swede's 36th birthday.

If he had lived, he would have been taking care of everyone, she says of the man nicknamed "Papa Bear" because of his caretaking.

"He was our rock, our cohesive. We would have been supported emotionally by him through the years."

His absence is felt every day.

"When you lose someone that close to you, the losses keep coming," she says. "All my friends my age have grandchildren. I'm sure my son by now would have had children."

She finds some comfort in her belief in the afterlife.

"I believe that spiritually, he's around. But I'll never have closure.What does that mean?

'I think what one can say is you become better at integrating the good memories with the painful realization of living without him."

- Bobbi Seidel

He was a graduate of Cornell University, where he served as president of his fraternity.
Mother, Elaine Chevalier; father, Vernon Chevalier Jr.; sisters Brittany and Tylia; maternal grandmother Helen Polguy; paternal grandfather Vernon Chevalier Sr.

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